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If I were you I would travel to a country that allow psychedelics and take a heroic dose of it in a good setting.
Everything is temporary just like happiness in our life. Let that time just pass and you'll be OK. I also went through this kinda thoughts but still you want to commit suicide. So try to make it historic like the person did in following post:

find one little stupid reason to keep going and cling to it. that's how i keep going. doesnt matter how stupid or small. and ignore the racism man, that's everywhere in here :) keep on trucking
That's funny as shit oh my god.
Nothing gonna changes anyway. Go ahead.
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